Being Honest With Yourself

In searching for a better life, some people cannot see the problems they have now. A sense of failure, or of unconstructive criticism by others, can activate a very defensive mentality, where a person jealously guards the little they feel they have achieved against all 'threats.' The result is that this person might try to reduce others down to their current psychological condition in order to reaffirm that it's 'not so bad' for themselves: they have to question everyone else's achievement, always with scepticism and a lingering sense of fear. They unfortunately see opponents and challenges - which everyone needs to some extent - as enemies, or as potentially oppressive. Because awareness of an issue is too painful for them, the person loses themselves in mindless distractions, hoping that the issue will not come up again. This is very sad to see. Bad things happen to people, things they are not necessarily responsible for, but that they really should struggle against. For example, chronic stress, such as from job and financial insecurity, usually has an impact on the quality of the home environment for children growing up, because peoples' moods will lead them toward anger/irritability, impatience, and/or confusion. However, because most parents want to love children and provide for them, they blind themselves to their own shortcomings. Likewise, if you're younger, you shouldn't necessarily expect more mature people to treat you as a real equal - realistically, you are only potentially equal in the future. Another example is: when someone doesn't have a likable personality, they shouldn't resent others not wanting to spend time with them. It's nothing personal, really, just a reflection of human needs. If someone is not capable of meaningful interaction, it doesn't mean that they don't have the potential to achieve it in the future. Faults are not eternal, but they do require effort to avoid. We need to live in a society where criticisms and personal development won't be perceived as attacks on individuals. I also think it's very useful to strive for "power-to" (doing/relationships) against "power-over" (control of things) even though one always has the potential to change into the other, and even though we all can relate to both at the same time in different ways.