Thoughts - 06/09/2012

• Pure immediacy is impossible - human life is mediated - but not to the exclusion of affect and the unconscious. It's possible that both affect and the unconscious is highly intelligent, but in an "inductive" (experiential) way rather than a "deductive" (abstract) way. The tendency toward abstraction doesn't exhaust the struggle to fulfill our concrete needs.

• Regardless of the parental functions of authority, and the respect they expect from their children, it is an empirical fact that as society changes and generations succeed each other, certain forms of common sense, knowledge, and habit become irrelevant or anachronistic. Particularly now, as the labour market demands more refined communication skills, emotional competence, and mental and physical health, children increasingly have to deviate from their parents just to survive. It is increasingly impossible to be an introverted or solitary person, since social and cultural capital are key parts of the social structure we live in. This may be one of the factors contributing to the breakdown of the traditional form of the family and the rise of the new extended family (divorce, foster parenthood, etc.). The disconnect is only partially psychological, since if we see the family as an institution, then it will change in relation to other institutions and relationships. This is why more non-traditional forms of the family have appeared in recent decades.
• Parents can try very hard and project love on to their children - for example, by complimenting minor achievements - but their strain within the parenting role (for example, lacking cultural and emotional capital) is clear when passive-aggressive tendencies show themselves. For example, teaching children by either completely taking over the cognitive and affective processes (to the exclusion of the child's own psychic development) associated with a behaviour or leaving the child completely on their own to learn with no support are both extreme parenting styles. Hiding your difficulties in relating to other human beings behind "tough love" and self-discovery can understandably lead to resentment. When the expectations placed on children to succeed are greater than the child's self-development allows, the parent who feels justified in their own anger or disapproval is basically just confirming their own ego. What children need is a basic level of support in developing their selves, some guidance and leadership rather than discipline per se. The ability to lead by example, but not to project one's self to strongly onto others, is much more admirable: one needs to be able to respond to other people in order to relate to a child during development, rather than only being able to respond to one's self.
• Important to make a separation of inside and outside in order to develop a sense of self and of identity. Without this, stress is guaranteed, as one's behaviour is so immediate and easy-to-interpret that others can predict and control what you are doing. As well, projecting your own thoughts into the world and into conversation-spaces makes it difficult to listen or respond without feeling totally overwhelmed by the experience. If all one's internal processes are externalized, bodily integrity starts to decline, chronic stress mounts, and it gets more out of control as the capacity to experience declines. Humans don't need absolute certainty, but they do need to be able to process their experiences as at least somewhat distinct from their selves.
• Dignity and immanence are compatible, but immanence is more than presence (Hegel's interpretation). Being-there includes both presence and absence, a sense of relating to others and to the whole that goes against the Aristotelian notion that things can be broken down into the sum of their component parts. Every moment is infinite, incalculable, yet has its own distinct shape and "logos" or habitus (as opposed to a logic). Dignity is not according to some human essence we can be certain of beforehand: it is the ability to embody numerous potentials as they arise, to not be treated as a thing, but instead as a decentered, relational person.
• This phenomenological perspective can be applied to the labour process to describe it as indignified, rather than alienating of the human essence. The most we can say is that certain needs are not fulfilled, but we can't infer from that we know the totality of the person from the observation of a lack. Yet, the sense of dignity that people have - that their world still turns, so to speak, without having to constantly check or scrutinize it - depends on the degrading characteristics of the capitalist labour process.
• One day every week I need to dedicate to mental and physical health and well-being above other things. It seems like Sunday is that day.